Mast n' Funny Jokes

Jokes

Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.

टीचर - बेटा बंटी, बताओ एक को एक से कैसे जोड़ें कि तीन हो जाएं ?

बंटी - उनकी शादी करा दीजिए ....

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work…make less mistakes,
People who do no work…make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes…get promoted.

Question. What four letter word starts with F and ends with K and if a man can’t get it he uses his hands?

Answer. Fork

Ek tu hi toh hai jo dil k kareb hai, ek teri dosti hi mera acha nasib hai, vaise to mein har pal hi haara hu, ek tera hona hi meri eklauti jeet hai !!

"Santa asked Banta the full form of MATHS
Banta- Mentally affected teachers harassing students."

"Santa was standing below a tube light with a open mouth... WHY?
Because his doctor had advised him that the dinner should be LIGHT".

"Santa – A photographer on a funeral function
Santa is busy taking snaps, suddenly people start beating him. Why?
Each time he took a picture he said SMILE PLEASE "

Sardar opened his tiffin on the road, why? Socho Jaldi Socho, He wantd 2 check, "K me office ja raha hun K wapas aa raha hu

1. Why did Santa Singh took 18 sardars to watch a movie?
 Because under 18 was not allowed!

2. How will a sardarji climb a tree?
He'll stand on a corn and wait for it 2 grow

3. Father:"Thanks a lot doctor for saving my sons life.
Doctor:"It's God who has saved your life.
after sometime.
Doctor:"My fee??"
Father:"'ll send it to God through money order"!!

4. Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

5. Santa went to give his english exam.Then he came back.
Banta:How was your exam?
Santa:It was good except that I did not know the past tense of think.
I thought and I thought and I wrote thunk.

6. Santa: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Every time!
Jeeto: It could also mean - With Idiot For Ever.

7.Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

8.A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya

9. Aaj aap DIL Mango, de denge.............
DHADKAN Mango, de denge.............
JIGAR Mango, de denge.............
JAAN tak Mango , to de sakte hain.............
......................................
Kyunki charo film ki "DVD" ghar pe padi hain.

9A. I LOVE YOU - Send SMS to 10 girls & win a FREE trip to ur nearest Police station in Luxury jeep!!!
Rehna, Khana & body massage FREE!!! aaram se Kijiye offer hamesha rahega

10.Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi

11.Santa wantd 2 make a STD call 2 Amritsar but it was too expensive.
Can u guess wat Paaji did?
……….
.………….
…………….
He went 2 amritsar & made a local call

12. Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

13. ONE DAY SANTA WAS CRYING. BANTA ASKED HIM WHY ARE YOU CRYING . HE ANSWERED I HAVE ONLY ONE BROTHER BUT MY SISTER HAS TWO

14. 1. **5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph. in your brand new car. Now you are traveling to hospital at double the speed in an ambulance, you wish there was 'undo (ctrl + Z)' in life!

2. **You are already late, and your key is missing, you wish there was 'find tool (ctrl+F)' in life!

3. **You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business, you wish there was 'rebuild all' in life!

4. **The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end, You wish there was 'zoom & view full screen' in life!

5. **After marriage you realize that there is bound to be a mismatch, you wish there was an valuation period' or at least a 'sample download' or a 'demo version'!

6. **One day you realize that you are turning bald, you wish there was 'cut and paste (ctrl + X)/(ctrl + C)' in life!

And the best one is ..........

7. **The best part of the keyboard is U & I are together which is not always there in life......